Hi!
So this week has been kinda hard! A lesson in “letting go” and in remaining nimble and open to change. My neutrophil number (this is some combination that measures my white blood cells etc. was low, as I mentioned in my last post, and as such I planned to work from home. However, I have been so wiped out that I spent much of the weekend and week sleeping. Or, trying to sleep because I was having pain in my toes and aching legs. Turns out neuropathy is pretty unpleasant.
I talked to my medical oncologist, Dr. Kimmick, on Tuesday and we discussed options given the development of this side effect that Pollyanna here had assumed was no big deal! It’s sort of no big deal, if it doesn’t get worse and isn’t permanent. But it turns out…there’s really about no scientific data that tells us if either one of those things will be true. Truth be told I got pretty upset initially, but after talking with Dr. Kimmick I felt better and got back into the present moment (for the most part.) She said it is important I get rest and we’ll discuss options next week.
So, no chemo today. I’m working at home, since I didn’t get a lot of work done earlier in the week because of above, pain meds, and attempts to sleep. I’ll see Dr. Kimmick on Tuesday and then I guess I’ll decide whether I’ve had enough of placitaxel (taxol) and carboplatin. I’ve had 7 of 12 treatments of taxol and 6 of carbo and apparently it isn’t uncommon to stop early. However, it is definitely working, honestly right now if I gave myself a breast exam I wouldn’t know there had been (and still is) cancer. Thanks to dense breast tissue, which frankly I’ve been appreciative of until now!!
Hard decisions will be ahead. How does one weigh quality of life vs. quantity of life – especially when the options regarding those two things aren’t based on clear outcomes. I know I will end up following my gut about this decision and I know what my gut thinks right now even though my toe pain is getting better. Until I have to make a decision, I’m going to engage in light exercise daily even if exhausted because that helps with neuropathy/leg pain and my outlook. Did a light workout last night and boom much better. And don’t worry, all you lovely worriers who may be reading, when I say light I mean very very light. Like walking/stretching/a few yoga poses. I won’t risk wearing myself down.
My next medical appointments are on Tuesday, June 5th. Depending what I decide with my doctor, I may have chemo then. It may be a less dense dose of taxol/carbo or maybe start on AC. AC apparently wipes you out so I might wait until Friday if that’s the direction we go. But I also get Neulasta on AC so that should keep my white blood cells happy – assuming I don’t have a side effect that prevents continues use. I hear I’ve missed out on a lot of Neulasta commercials so I had to Google it and I would like one of the handsome men from the commercials, e.g. https://www.ispot.tv/ad/wx59/neulasta-onpro-rather-be-home-onpro to come make me tea, if one of you could take care of that, thank you. I feel like that should be included in the treatment. I mean, how hard could that be? Finally, suddenly those long side effects disclaimers? They suddenly don’t seem quite as funny to me! Still funny enough I thought about it.
That’s it for now. Send me all your good vibes, prayers, juju, healing thoughts and whatever you got.
Thank you!
Sandra, I love your spirit and optimism, keep up the good work. I know that a friend of mine from Seattle is still suffering from neuropathy, I had never heard of it until she talked about it, she is 5 years out of treatment so it is something to keep in mind going forward.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! You got this!!
So sorry things have become tougher for you Sandra. I suffer from neuropathy in my lower extremities and feel the same kind of pain you do. Massage with a skin lotion helps, as does massage with a Japanese roller stick – there’s another more accurate term for it that I’ve forgotten.
BTW, Churchill is alleged to have said in response to the preposition thing you mention in a later post,
“A preposition is a very bad thing to end a sentence with!”
Hi Bob! I’m hoping the neuropathy will clear up in time – though I know it’s probably going to be around somewhat I just don’t want to stop riding! I know you get that. I’ve found a bodywork person who does some technique that can help with neuropathy too so we’ll see. I’m sorry to hear you have to deal with it too.
I love the Churchill quote!! Sometimes it just sounds right to end with a preposition.